It was a 25 y/o male with osteosarcoma of the hip. He was receiving outpatient chemotherapy, but presented to the hospital for uncontrolled pain. After having found to be constipated, he was placed on a bowel regimen. He refused all PO medications due to nausea and vomiting, and also did not want a suppository. It took me nearly 12 hours to get this young man to take the suppository to prevent an impaction. Finally, he took the medication.
When I came back to the hospital two days later, I had found out that this patient had been transferred to critical care after finding a brain tumor. He passed away shortly after. Words cannot express how sad this patient and my interaction with him had affected me. I started to wonder if I had communicated clearly enough? Did I ensure that his wishes and needs were fulfilled? Was I too focused on the simple nursing tasks at hand and disregarding the human being?
Questions like this are what keep me up at night. Tragedies like this refocus my mind to focus on the human, not an order. I hope I did not come off as too hard for this man.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Count your blessings.
Until next shift,
Shania